Published by the Modern Scot on the evening of 17 September, 2014.
‘Twas the night before Referendum, when all through the land
not a news team was sleeping, except BBC Scotland.
The YES posters where hung in the windows with care
in hopes for a system that would be just and fair.
The children were all worried awake in their beds
while visions of university fees danced in their heads.
With ma clutching a Saltire, and I in my kilt
we just settled down under an warm tartan quilt.
When then on the telly there arose such a blether
I longed for the days when we just watched the weather.
“Turn up the volume,” I said in a flash.
“All these buggers want are my oil and my cash!”
And there on the news, in a last plea for NO
stood Cameron in a kilt, his face all aglow.
And what to my wondering eyes did appear…
It was the Queen herself with an Irn Bru and a tear.
They were making new vows, and saying them quick.
I knew in a moment it must be a trick.
With a nod of Cameron’s head, the NO crowd – they came.
And they lied and they bribed and they called us all names.
“Now, Rowling! Now Beckham! Now Barrowman and Boyle!
On, McCartney, on Bowie! on Meyers and Cowell!”
“To the front of the camera, you know how to bow.
Show the Scots how to do it! Do it now! Do it now!”
And the love bombs began falling all around me whole hoose
Grandpa fired back with farts, “Take that ye ol’ louse!”
I laughed when I heard him, in spite of it all.
As for me and my wife, we’re going to stand tall.
And in the morning, you’ll see, in our finest we’ll dress
Because despite everything, we’re still voting YES.
#ModernScot
